Just did a five K ergo and I am buggered, Bloody hell it was hard work. Nearly died afterwards.

Having shitty emotional day today, went and sat down in a flower bed and cried, I hate crying, (unless it is while watching a movie) and I hate people watching me cry....in a pissy mood, school interent broken, writing this on friends account and I am having to study suicide for C.S which is just serving to depress and my mum is getting worried about me.....

Had creepiest dream last night, I was standing on a beach, and the waves were washing up, further and further around me, and lightning was flashing across the sky. To one side of me was a man, and he turned his head to look at me, and he had no face, just these two white eyes staring at me.

Then he turned back to the sea and pointed, and on the horizon was this person drowning, and I ran out to rescue them and I swam and I swam, but the person never got any closer, and then I began to give up. I took one more stroke, and suddenly the person was next to me, only it was me. My eyes were gouged out, and the blood was trickling down my face, my mouth open in a silent scream.

And then, as cliched as it sounds i woke up, and , again, as cliched as it sounds, I was crying and shaking, and Oh my God, I was so scared, and didn't slweep for the rest of the night, which, obviously, did not put me in the best of moods for the ergo trial.......